Ever had one of those days where everything that can go wrong does—and yet, something incredible happens? I recently experienced one of the toughest facilitation moments of my career, and I still get chills thinking about it.
In January, I was working with a company at an offsite designed to help leaders feel seen, heard, and accepted. This was a tightly held family business led by a sister (CEO) , her brother, and her husband (the President), and they had just celebrated their best year ever. Spirits were high, minds were open, and hearts were ready to learn psychological safety techniques.
Then, in the midst of a successful morning session, life threw a curveball. During lunch, a potential gas leak at the office sent shockwaves through the team. Panic set in—police and fire department were called—and the President had to dash off to handle the emergency, abruptly exiting our training.
No sooner had we caught our breath than another crisis hit—a potential bank fraud involving nearly $800,000. The revelation of a hijacked invoice payment brought the CEO to tears, while her brother immediately sprang into action to stop the transfer. Even the Controller, who was with us that day, was devastated over a mistake by one of his team members who failed to follow standard operating procedures—a lapse that spiraled into financial jeopardy.
At that moment, I faced the hardest choice: press on with our planned session or adapt on the fly. I asked the brother if he could stay present—and he admitted he couldn’t. The sister echoed the same sentiment. I felt the room slipping away, and with it, my grip on the day.
Then a memory surfaced—a piece of wisdom from my coach, Dr. Danny Friedland: “The room will give you what it needs. Be patient. Don’t try to rush things. You are there to serve your client.”
I turned to the brother and asked, “What would you like to do?” His reply was disarmingly simple: “I want to go to the hotel bar and drink, lol.” The sister agreed, adding that a few drinks might just help clear their heads.
So, in what felt like the climax of a high-stakes movie, I invited the remaining leaders to join the four of us at the bar. We packed up our laptops and headed out, transforming a crisis into an impromptu war room at the hotel bar. Tables became our strategy stations. While the CEO and her brother made urgent calls, the HR lead and I worked on plans to address the breakdown in processes that led to the mishap—all while sharing a few cocktails.
Gradually, the tension shifted. The President returned with the good news: the gas leak was a false alarm. With that reassurance, the focus turned to collaboration. In that charged atmosphere, a group initially mired in a fight-or-flight response began to open up—venting frustrations, sharing ideas, and, most importantly, reconnecting as a team.
Hours later, as we gathered for dinner with our spouses (who were, by then, equally anxious about the nearly $1M fraud scare), I sat down with the three key leaders. Leaning in, I asked the CEO, “Can your business survive an $800,000 loss?” With quiet conviction, she replied, “It can.” In that moment, the lightbulb went off. The resilience and unity built over the past few years—through leadership, accountability, and a deep commitment to each other—were the true foundations of their success.
To cap off the evening, I guided the room into a gratitude exercise. For two hours, we expressed genuine appreciation for one another, with tears and heartfelt embraces replacing the earlier fear. What began as a day marred by crisis ended with a deep, shared sense of purpose and strength.
The following Monday, I received word that the funds had been recovered and no lasting damage had been done. The crisis was averted, and the team emerged more connected than ever.
Lessons Learned:
- The room gives you what it needs. Be fully present and adaptable—sometimes, the solution is to break from the script.
- Leadership comes in all flavors. Whether in crisis or calm, every leader’s response matters.
- Embrace vulnerability. In high-tension moments, acknowledging our fears can open the door to authentic teamwork.
- Trust the process. Crises can reveal hidden strengths and foster unexpected collaboration.
- Camaraderie over chaos. Even in panic, coming together—sometimes over a drink—can reset the tone and spark creative problem-solving.
Looking back, one blind spot was my initial expectation that a structured session would carry the day. True leadership emerged when I encouraged everyone to be human—frightened, overwhelmed, yet capable of remarkable resilience when given space to breathe.
So, I leave you with this: When your team faces a crisis, are you ready to listen to what they really need? Sometimes, stepping away from the boardroom and into the unexpected can reveal the heart of leadership.
Take a moment today to reflect—what unexpected spaces might be the key to your team’s breakthrough?
Stay resilient, keep learning, and lean into those messy moments. They’re where growth happens.
Until next time,
Todd
